My latest article on Herman Cain

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October 11, 2011 by bowmanaj

Hey All,

So here is my pre-edited version of my latest article in The Miami Student. In the published version there are several mistakes and the title is just awful. In addition they didn’t get the fact I used “Parry” instead of “Perry.” Stephen Colbert should be proud. Please read this version and the published version and see if you can spot the mistakes.

The roller coaster Republican Presidential field has had more ups and downs than the average voter can withstand.

According to the Federal Elections Committee’s webpage, there are 239 registered presidential candidates, but it is safe to say that most of them aren’t even going to make it to next month polls, let alone to Nov. 6, 2012.

Who is the top of the field? Current President Barack Obama, Governor Mitt Romney, Godfather’s Pizza CEO Herman Cain, Governor Rick Parry, Former Speaker of the House Newt Gingrich, Congressman Ron Paul, Congresswoman Michelle Bachmann, Senator Rick Santorum, and Former Governor Jon Huntsman.

But there is one, who is surging through the field, and for the life of me, I just don’t understand why, because he unwittingly a weekly target for satirist across the country. Herman Cain is the latest flavor of the week for the hyperactive and sensationalistic media and undecided voters block after winning the Florida Straw Poll.

Cain has a background and degrees in mathematics and computer science. He worked as a civilian employee for the Navy, computer analyst for Coca Cola, regional vice president for Pillsbury’s Burger King division, and president and CEO of Godfather’s Pizza. Recently he has become and syndicated columnist and radio host for his own show.

He has also attempted to be part of politics. Cain served a stint in the Kansas Federal Reserve Bank and in 1994 became head of the National Restaurant Association. The businessman also attempted a short-lived run at presidency in 2000. Then in 2004 ran a failed campaign for the senate position of Georgia.

Now he is again running for President of the United States of America. Basically, the guy who has dabbled in just about everything now wants to be president again. And for some reason, people are taking him seriously.

Now, it is easy to take issue with some of Cain’s stances. For instances, he wants to lift regulations of drilling for oil, but he wants the private sector to develop “inexpensive, safe and plentiful” alternative energy sources. So, drilling and fracking for oil is the safe alternative to alternative energy? Maybe you can take issue with his “9 9 9 plan.’ Perhaps you don’t agree with his stance on using the “Chilean Model” for social security.

Those are all fine talking points that should be addressed. The bigger issue is his almost comical lack of common sense and ability to say things that are prime targets for activists and comedians across the nation.

We live not only in an age of post Sept. 11, but also an age of political correctness. Yet, Cain has admitted that he would not have a Muslim in his cabinet. Regardless of if they are a hardworking American, Cain is willing to segregate based on Religion, which of course is all sorts of violations to the constitutional rights.

The latest series of Cain’s speaking mishaps was the victim of The Daily Show with Jon Stewart’s latest twitter tag. The Hermanator, while insinuating the latest series of the “Occupy” protests said they are orchestrated by the current administration to distract from all the failures. In addition, Cain said that it was people’s fault for not succeeding and obtaining the American Dream, instead of the banking and business complete lack of ethics and oppressive control.

The funniest part of that whole point was the way Cain started his skewed rant. “I don’t have the facts to back this up, but…”

That phrase is perhaps Cain’s most memorable one yet: even better than when the Daily Show teed off on him for saying as president he “would only allow small bills… under three pages.” Stewart mocked, “I am Herman Cain, and I do not like to read!”

This latest phrase turned into Twitter hashtag will top the ever funny, Colbert Report’ via Jon Kyl’s hashtag of #notintendedtobeafactualstatement.

As a voting American, one of my criteria for deciding which to vote for, is “How would this person represent the United States at world events?” I don’t think I can positively say I want #Idonthavethefactstobackthisup to be brought up at the United Nations.


The Miami Students version of my article.


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